Aku Sekarang

Yeah, aku sekarang sudah jadi truly lonely girl.

Lama Nech

Lama negh gak update blog.

H I D U P

Bagiku hidup adalah pembelajaran tanpa akhir. Tapi dalam prakteknya, pembelajaran itu tak seindah, tak semenyenangkan, dan tak semudah di sekolah, kursusan, atau tempat nongkrong. Praktek hidup itu (menurutku) lebih mirip dengan politik (emang politik tu apaan sih?). Dalam hidup, konsistensi manusia tidak dapat ditetapkan. Kadang dia jadi teman, di waktu yang lain dia adalah lawan. Hal itu akan berlangsung terus sepanjang hidup kita, sampai nanti aku mati. Dan jika sekarang aku sudah lelah, jenuh, dan bosan menjalani hidup, apakah aku salah?

It's Been A Long Long Time

Hmm, sudah lama sekali sejak terakhir kalinya aku post dalam blogku ini. Maklum aja, aku agak-agak katrok sehingga pas sudah switch ke blogger beta, aku jadi malah bingung. Nggak tau ya, sejak switch ke blogger beta, mau masuk and posting aja jadi lemot banget. Jadinya aku males ngupdatenya. Apa mungkin warnetnya yang jelek ya? Gak tau lagi sih.......

Andrea's Love

.....................................
Andrea was walking in the street when the crash happened. She was totally surprised to see that the crashed car was Stephanie's car. When the other people was still stoned to see the crash, Andrea soon ran to the car. She opened the door of the broken car. She found Lee and Stephanie unconscious there. She cried to see both of them, and then she tried to pull them out of the car. People helped her since they realized that Andrea got difficulties.
"It won't be enough time to wait the ambulance! Taxi please!!" Cried Andrea. Then a taxi stopped. People helped her to take Lee and Stephanie to the taxi. Andrea sat on the back seat, while Lee in her right and Stephanie in her left.
"Hospital! Quickly, sir!" Cried Andrea to the Taxi driver.
In the hospital, the medical professionals helped Lee and Stephanie out. Andrea was sitting outside the Emergency Room.
She cried, but she did not know for sure why she cried. Did she cry for the unconscious boyfriend? Or did she cry for finding her boyfriend with Stephanie?
She called Lee's friend, Rick.
"So they now in the hospital?" asked Rick.
"Yes, they are."
"You brought both of them?"
"Yes I did."
"Why did you do that?"
"What are you talking about?!" Andrea didn't know why Rick asked her like that.
"Yeah.......What do you think of Stephanie?"
"Rick, I was in silence. But, silence doesn't mean stupid. I know many things even though not all. I know who Stephanie is. And I know what Stephanie means for Lee. I know that, Rick. But I keep on silence."
"For that, why did you still help Stephanie?"
"Because I know that Stephanie means many things for Lee. I know that Stephanie is Lee's true love. I know that Lee is Stephanie's true love. And I won't let true love split out."
"But you are Lee's boo...."
"I realize that."

Andrea's Love

............................................................
Lee : Andrea, aren't you disappointed with everthing we did?
Andrea : Why are asking me like that?
Lee : Because we seem not to be the normal ones. I worry if you were tortured.
Andrea : And how about you? I think I hurt you more....
Lee : No, you didn't. You never did me such way. You always show me your cheerfulness.
Andrea : But I...
Lee : No, you don't need to worry about that.
Andrea : Lee, we both know that we're not true love for another. But I, I'll try my best to give you the best.
Lee : Why did you say like that?
Andrea : Cause I’m sure that we’re exactly not the true love for one another. I even don’t know who you are.
............................................................

Diary7

I ain't got nobody that I can depend on
... just me, myself, and I

Diary6

..........I'm better off alone anyway.........

SubDiary5

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SAMPAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
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Diary5

LIFE'S GOT SO COMPLICATED.
Semakin hari aku bertambah dewasa, tambah tua. Tapi aku tak pernah merasa semakin bijak, aku hanya merasa semakin liar saja.

I am......What?

Now I am a filthy rotten girl.
I have no worth in me.

Do I regret it?
I guess I don't, coz I know I did it, I know I realized it. So, I am not allowed to regret anything.

Kenapa setiap hari aku merasa seperti ini?
Strange feeling that surely I can explain, but I won't explain it to you.

Am I just some chick you placed beside you to take sombody's place.
When you turn around can you recognize my face?

This the way I am, I think. I'm not more than a subtitute which just starred with one eye.

sldkf;lefi lrkfifjfkr iudkfj isdjflaoire0wt hsmjf;aw9eb . What I am thinking.

15665215861256542568213684235682 . As terrible as my brain.

I once promised not to regret... I think I regret having such a promise.

Diary4

I don't know what I have thought, all I know is I did it and I don't regret it so far.
I love you my dear, that's why I never wanna confront you.
I love you my dear, that's why I never ignored you.
I love you my dear, that's why I was never angry to you.
I love you my dear, do you love me to?

Diary3

Why should I care? Cause you weren't there when I was scared, I was so alone.

Is that too much that I'm asking for something to you? I don't know my dear, but I always feel that I must disturb you when I want to ask for something to you?

It's the first time I ever felt this lonely
I wish someone could cure this pain

Is that too much that I'm asking you to be there when I'm all alone?

I thought you'd come around when I ignored you
So I thought you'd have the decency to change
But babe, I guess you didn't take that warning

Who is me exactly, my dear? I can't understand where I should be.

Can't find where i am
Lying here
Alone in fear
Afraid of the dark
No one to claim
Alone again

I yearn for you, my dear. Do you feel it too?
Every day, every hous, every minute, every second.
But once more, do you feel it too?

I don't know how it come, but now I am not me.
I didn't see you the way I do now.
I tried hard to force myself to do so, but why is everything harder than it seems?

People seems to be right.
Am I cheated?
I put my trust in you, my dear, and I hope they are all wrong.

Diary2

Once more.
I feel it again.
It happened again.
Always the same.
I am bored.
But I am infatuated.

Aku Bukan Pilihan Hatimu

Jika memang diriku bukanlah menjadi pilihan hatimu
Mungkin sudah takdirnya kau dan aku tak 'kan mungkin bersatu

Harus s'lalu kau tahu kumencintamu di sepanjang waktuku
Harus s'lalu kau tahu semua abadi untuk selamanya

Karena kuyakin cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu sampai akhir hidupku
Karena kuyakin di setiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu satu yang selalu kurindu

Harus s'lalu kau tahu kumencintamu di sepanjang waktuku
Harus s'lalu kau tahu semua abadi untuk selamanya

Karena kuyakin cinta dalam hatiku
Hanya milikmu sampai akhir hidupku
Karena kuyakin di setiap hembus nafasku
Hanya dirimu satu yang selalu kurindu

Jika memang diriku bukanlah menjadi pilihan hatimu.....

..............................................................................

A really strange song that infected me.
Nggak tau ya, tiap kali dengar lagu ini aku ngerasain sakit hati.
Nggak tau juga kenapa aku suka sekali merasakan dan mengulangi sakit hati itu.
Aku benar-benar gak tau kenapa.
Tiap kali dengar, pasti hati ini tertusuk dan jadi pengen nangis.
Bahkan pernah sampe benar-benar nangis.
Sebenarnya ada apa sih dengan lagu ini?!
Aku juga jadi senang nyanyiin lagu ini, meski tiap kali nyanyiin rasanya benar-benar sakit di hati dan tenggorokan tercekat. Rasanya gak rela nyanyi, tapi mulut ini terus aja kebuka.
Teman-temanku sampe heran liat aku tiba-tiba terinfeksi lagu Indonesia, lagunya Ungu lagi!
Benar-benar strange kata mereka.
"Andhie suka lagu Indonesia? Aneh banget! Gak salah?!" Gitu pasti komen mereka.
Nggak tau ah!
Aku sendiri juga heran dengan diriku.
Ada apa sama lagu ini sebenarnya?

Diary1

How could this be?
I never thought that I would be on this way or feel such feelings.
I don't like it!
Should I cry? May I cry?
Does it all deserve the tears?
I don't want to end all of this, I really don't. No, that's like a hell for me.
I adore the moment, and the moment maker.

Once I've been tied up, I will not go anywhere. I promise you and myself. I will always keep my way on you and try to build a high and strong wall in my heart to avoid seeing other disturbance.

But sometimes ........... I must face a really hard condition. I feel like I am nothing, I am invisible, I am nobody, I am not an essential one. When I am on this condition, all I can do is just staying on positive mind, try not to thing negatively. But actually that hurts me so. No, I don't tell you about it since I don't want you to be worried. I acted as if there were nothing happen. I just think about your pleasure and secure.

See, I was always okay when everything wasn't okay around us.

Do I adore you for all my life? I don't think so, my dear. But I know, for this time, I cannot grab another feeling except you. Is it same as you?

dHie Dies

Aku tak tahu lagi siapa aku. Aku tak lagi yakin dHie dalam diriku masih tetap ada, masih tetap hidup. Aku bukan dHie lagi. Tak tahu siapa yang menggantikan dHie. Mungkin Dhie, dhIe, dhiE, dhie, dHIE, dhIE, DhIE, DHiE, atau apalah itu.
Mungkin, dHie sudah mati.
Bukan, tak seharusnya dHie seperti ini.

Another Me

Ceweknya Cowokku

INI ADALAH AKU

Hari Ni.........

Aq g tw mo nulis ap......................

2 Become 1

Gak tau ah! Lagi blank nih!
Pas ngetik ni, di kupingku Spice Girls nyanyi 2 Become 1.

I need some love like I never needed love before
(wanna make love to ya baby)
I had a little love, now I'm back for more
(wanna make love to ya baby)
Set your spirit free, it's the only way to be

Jadi pengen........................